Making Science More Better For You on 09/26/07

Date night in monkey land—are they really so different?

"Randy monkeys wash hands, feet in urine
Scientists believe waste-bathing might also calm the primates"

MSNBC reports that tufted capuchin monkeys (Cebus apella) wash their feet and hands in urine to get comfort or sex, research now suggests.

"Explanations put forward for such urine-washing have included everything from helping the primates cool down to improving their grip on branches.

Primatologist Kimran Miller at the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls and her colleagues focused on tufted capuchin monkeys (Cebus apella) for 10 months at the National Institutes of Health Animal Center in Maryland.


The alpha male of the group of roughly two dozen monkeys doubled how often he washed in urine when solicited by females.

"So we think the alpha males might use urine-washing to convey warm, fuzzy feelings to females, that their solicitation is working and that there's no need to run away," Miller said. "Or they could be doing it because they're excited."


"The leading explanations for urine-washing were either keeping cool or territoriality," Miller said. "Our findings suggest we should rethink why urine-washing happens."
The researchers will detail their findings in a forthcoming issue of the American Journal of Primatology."

So that's why alpha males smell like that. The story does bring to mind the old joke about the Harvard student in the Men’s Room during the Yale-Harvard football game. He notices that the Yale student in front of him is leaving without washing his hands. The Harvard guy stops him and says, “At Harvard, we’re taught to wash our hands after taking a leak.” “Really,” says the Yale guy. “At Yale we’re taught to not piss on our hands.”

Clearly, the monkeys are headed to Dartmouth.

Its like a roofie, only it's supposed to be good for you.

"Hormone Therapy Boosts Sexual Interest But Not Memory, Study Suggests"

"Science Daily — Hormone therapy in early post-menopause increases sexual interest, but does not improve memory, according to a new study. "Contrary to what we predicted, hormone therapy did not have a positive affect on memory performance in younger mid-life women," said Pauline Maki, associate professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Illinois at Chicago, who led the study.

"If women want to improve hot flashes and night sweats -- the primary reason most women seek menopausal relief -- and they want to improve their sexual focus and interest, then this may be a formulation for them."

Maki and her colleagues enrolled 180 women between the ages of 45 and 55 whose last menstrual cycle was in the past one to three years. The women were randomly assigned to receive either a placebo or a combination of estrogen and progesterone, also known as Prempro, for four months.

The study evaluated memory, attention, cognitive function, emotional status, sexuality and sleep.

No significant changes in cognitive function were identified in the newly menopausal women taking hormone therapy compared to the placebo group."

Pretty soon some bartender will be serving it with Bailey's, on ice.


Staring into the abyss known as cranky old-cootism

In article posted on MSNBC (Why Grandpa Says Inappropriate Things 9/25) Sharon Begley executes a rather complicated conceptual arabesque as she attempts to explain why older folks feel free to say things that are often inappropriate or politically incorrect.

While trying to waltz carefully through this social mine field she sites an article in the October issue of the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science that claims the loss of inhibition may be tied to the brain’s tendency to shrink as we age. "The frontal lobes in particular atrophy. The result is educed ability to inhibit irrelevant or unwanted thoughts. This loss of inhibition might explain other behaviors that crop up in many elderly, including “social inappropriateness.”

“It might be that older adults have greater difficulty inhibiting these stereotypic thoughts despite their efforts to avoid being prejudiced,” writes psychologist William von Hippel of Australia’s University of Queensland. Older adults might be "more prejudiced than younger adults because they can no longer inhibit their unintentionally activated stereotypes.”

To be fair, Begley is careful to point out that there other factors at play. Personally, I subscribe to a simpler explanation. People—this includes cranky old coots— tend to speak their mind when they care little for the consequences. You got a problem with that?

Your tax dollars are no longer at work
"Accused duck killer suspended from job"
By Kieran Nicholson, Denver Post Staff Writer

"A Denver man accused of ripping off a duck's head in a St. Paul, Minn., hotel lobby was cited last year for illegally killing a turkey in Missouri.

In April 2006 Scott D. Clark, 26, was cited in Powersville, Mo., by a state conservation agent for "possession of a turkey illegally - untagged."

Clark pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charge and paid a fine and court costs of $168, according to court records.

Clark could not be reached for comment Tuesday.

He was charged Monday with a felony count of cruelty to animals for allegedly killing a tame duck early Saturday at an Embassy Suites Hotel.

Clark, who works as an auditor for the federal government, was in Minnesota on a business assignment, said Don White, a spokesman for the U.S. Inspector General's Office.

Clark's direct supervisor at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services in Denver was unavailable for comment.

White said Clark has worked for the Inspector General's Office for about a year. White could not say Tuesday how long Clark has been assigned to the Denver office.

Clark has been suspended with pay from his $56,000-a-year job, pending the outcome of the animal-cruelty case, White said.

If convicted of the felony cruelty-to-animals count in Minnesota, Clark faces a $5,000 fine and a possible two-year jail sentence.

The Embassy Suites owns a number of tame ducks, which roam the pond area and walkways in the hotel atrium, to entertain guests and visitors.

A police report said the duck incident happened about 2:30 a.m. Clark reportedly told astonished onlookers that he was hungry.

Clark then took the body of the duck up to the fifth floor, where hotel security officers held him until police arrived.

The police report says Clark told police that he worked for the federal government and "when this was over, he would have the officers' jobs," according to the complaint filed in Ramsey County District Court."

So, that's how it starts. First turkeys, then ducks. Sounds like Jeffrey Dahmer's recipe for turducken.


Headline of the day
"Man's lost amputated leg found in a barbeque smoker"
(From the folks at The Obscure Store)

"S.C. amputee's lost leg found in barbecue smoker
'There were no macabre intentions'"
CLEVE R. WOOTSON JR. AND MARCIE YOUNG
cwootson@charlotteobserver.com

"John Wood is trying to get from South Carolina to Catawba County today to retrieve his leg.

On Tuesday, a Maiden man found the lost appendage in a barbecue smoker he'd bought from a storage facility.

The man took the smoker home, looked inside, and saw something wrapped in paper. Inside, said Maiden Police Chief Troy Church, was Wood's leg -- the foot and most of the calf. Police are keeping it for Wood.

Doctors amputated Wood's leg after a 2004 plane crash in Wilkes County that killed Wood's father and injured two other family members, Wood said.

"When it was amputated, he told (the hospital) that he wanted that leg saved," said his sister, Marin Wood-Lytle. "He wanted to keep the bone because he wanted to be buried as a full man." Instead of a bone, a funeral home delivered the whole leg.

Wood put it in his freezer, his sister said. It became something of a joke when she came over. "I wouldn't even get a Pepsi out of his refrigerator."

But it stopped being funny when Wood got behind on his power bill and his electricity was shut off, the sister said.

Despite his family's protests, Wood-Lytle said, her brother took the screen off his front porch, wrapped the leg inside and "tied it to two posts to let it dry.""

No, I said leg of lamb, not leg of man.

One last thought...
How about a remake of "Gilligan's Island" with Ahmadinejad as Gilligan, Hugo Chavez as The Skipper, George Soros as Mr. Howell, Steven Hawking as The Professor, Katie Couric as Mary Anne and Christiane Amanpour as Ginger?